Lessons I Learned

This woman has carried a photo of a young American girl named Ashley, whom she met while in the Thai/Cambodia refugee camps, for the last 20 years.  She asks every American she meets if she knows Ashley.

The picture if faded from where she has held it up for every blond haired or light-skinned passerby. She keeps it in a plastic bag along with her ID card and photo of lost relatives, underneath the pile of jewelry she is selling.  She says when Ashley said goodbye, she promised to meet her in Cambodia some day. Since she was able to return to Cambodia, she has been trying to meet up with Ashley, but does not know how.

Siem Him is the first woman I have met who carries a photo of a lost foreign friend.  For those who survived the Khmer Rouge, letting go of a lost one means accepting they were killed.  Meeting a Cambodian who keeps a photo of lost relatives is not uncommon, but a foreigner who she met ten years after the official end of the regime?  This was a first….

I was visiting Battambang with a group of American teachers who met Siew Him as they were examining her jewelry offerings in the market.  “No, we don’t know Ashley,” they said, wishing they could say they did. As we sat at breakfast overwhelmed by the fact that this woman has kept up a search for 20 years (and slightly giggling imagining an image of America as small enough for people to recognize each other by photo), we watched Siew Him thumb through her photos again, perhaps wondering if Ashley too was still looking for her.

My co-instructor, Claire, said we had to at least try to find Ashley.  So here we are.  Are you Ashley? Did you visit a Thai/Cambodia refugee camp in 1990? And does this photo look like you?

If so…. come to Battambang.  There is a lady who has been waiting a long time to find you.